Hey all! I’ve been MIA for awhile, and I apologize once again. As I touched on in Nervous Tension: Dealing with Anxiety, change is very hard for me, and I’ve been dealing with a lot of it lately. I’ll keep it short and sweet, so that I can (finally) get back to Mr. Confused for Days, but I just moved into my very first apartment at the end of June!! I started a new position at work about two weeks ago, my father moved to find work in another state, and I’ve started changing my eating habits and exercise routine. I also managed to SOMEHOW snag a boyfriend. So you could say things have been kind of crazy for me over the last few months, and now that the dust has settled – at least a little bit – I’m back!
I received request for advice about three months ago, and it’s quite possible Mr. Confused for Days may have give up on me. But I did want to post it because over the last few months, I’ve been getting really tired of the bar scene and I do think that our generation struggles to meet people for a number of reasons. So here we go!
For someone who doesn’t frequent the bar scene or go to a traditional university, how do I meet women? Most my hobbies are either outdoor exercising activities or involved with cars?
Dear Confused for Days,
I don’t think you’re the only one wondering this exact same thing. Truthfully, even those that are frequent bar hoppers probably ask themselves the same question. The truth is, meeting someone at a bar isn’t even REMOTELY appealing, for most people. And for most people, the intent is not to find a serious boyfriend or girlfriend when going out for a night on Mill Avenue.
Becuase our generation is so reliant on technology to fill the gaps in social scenes, and we grew up behind screens (be that TV, computer, or cell phone), we are much different that previous generations, and it has hindered us in opportunities where we might meet new people. This is something I’ll go more in depth in a future post, but you’re very right in thinking your interests will have something to do with meeting women.
By doing things that you love, you’re able to fulfill your own interests, and live passionately, while creating more opportunity to meet someone with common interests. This is important, because you do want someone with similar hobbies, so that you’re able to do things together. Plus, it makes for an easy and hopefully painless first date.
I did a little research to answer YOU specifically. Since you’re into cars, I’d recommend keeping an eye out for car shows, and get a group of friends to go with you. You could also look into gocart racing, or go see a NASCAR race, if you’re into that.
As far as your interests in outdoor exercise activities, hiking is the first thing that comes to mind. I don’t know if you’re into moutain biking or road biking, but Phoenix has a lot of culture in both areas and both would be a good way to meet new people. Keep an eye out for things like Tour de Fat, which they do annually in Tempe and it’s a lot of fun.
Just keep in mind as you’re doing these things that you love to be open and mindful of your surroundings. Take the chance and approach a woman that seems interesting, and if you’re weary on how to do so with confidence, check out the advice I gave to Mr. False Confidence.
Hope this helps, Confused for Days. Good luck in your pursuit to meet women!