faux pas

6 Facebook Faux Pas

“Yet high over the city our line of yellow windows must have contributed their share of human secrecy to the casual watcher in the darkening streets, and I was him too, looking up and wondering. I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.”

As I was watching the Great Gatsby¬†this afternoon, I heard the above mentioned quote. Such a beautiful quote. Upon hearing it, I was completely aware of its meaning in context, and what it meant in modern life. I knew that as Nick Carraway was narrating the scene where he’s an attendee at a party inside this apartment, he’s looking on into the other apartments. I knew that he was witnessing other people’s secrets beyond their “yellow windows.” And I knew that he was feeling that though he was included in this party, he felt an outsider because he didn’t agree with what was going on inside their own “yellow window.”

While he was comparing himself to this onlooker, outside on the darkened street corner, I realized that I, too, feel that I’m an onlooker. I’m very observant, and I often notice my surroundings, and the events taking place for other people who happen to share the same environment, but are experiencing completely different things.

It’s crossed my mind a lot, that Facebook has made us all onlookers. How we feel more comfortable staying in touch with someone from behind a screen, so that we can edit the things we say before we say them, retouch photos of us to hide our so-called “flaws,” and create this image of who we are based on an online profile. We share too much, or not enough, and we’ve all become so consumed in what other’s are doing.

Not to mention, checking my Facebook pisses me off on a regular basis. From the first world problem statuses, to the negative energy, the “I love my boyfriend” posts, and the vague “I’m going to post this so that people ask me what’s really going on and then not tell anyone publicly.”

Credit: The Manila Survival Guide

Credit: The Manila Survival Guide

That right there pretty much sums up my thought process when I’m doing my morning Newsfeed prowl, first thing after waking up. And I don’t think that’s what Facebook should be.

In pondering this, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are 6 types of Facebooking to avoid:

1.”Vaguebooking”

Credit: Miss KL Blog

Credit: Miss KL Blog

Why on Earth, would you post a status inviting people to care about what’s going on in your personal life if you’re not going to feed our nosy, overly curious asses? That’s just unfair. And at some point, your “BFF” is going to tell someone who will tell someone else, who’ll spill what happened two weeks later in a drunken gossip sesh at the bar ANYWAY.

2. The Double Whammy

Credit: Funny Junk

Credit: Funny Junk

Sometimes I impress ¬†myself with how “punny” I can be. I couldn’t decide what was worse with this one: The fact that it’s completely embarrassing that this was posted at all, or that it was posted by TWO girls back to back… (And the grammar in the comments makes me cringe). Enough with the stupid overgeneralizations, girls. No, not all guys are the same, and posting crap like that makes you LESS appealing to your potential Facebook suitors. Quit with the bitching about being single, and your boy problems. And stay farrrr away from posting something similar to what someone JUST posted 5 minutes ago. Wait a few months, then copy and paste the crap out of it.

3. Selfies

I’m a frequent offender, here. In my defense, I will say, there’s no shame in an occasional selfie. But we all know what you look like by now, or what your favorite filter makes you look like, and I’m pretty sure the majority of us don’t care to see three selfies of you in one day.

4. The BreakUp Post

Credit: PB Nation

Credit: PB Nation

Awwww I’m sorry you and your on again, off again girlfriend broke up, again….I’m sure you’re absolutely heartbroken. Until she comes back a week later and you start dating all over again.

Sidenote: If you’re in one of “those” relationships, don’t bother changing your Relationship Status every time you get into a fight. After this happens multiple times, we either don’t care, or we only care because we enjoy watching things like train wrecks and downward spirals like Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan.

5. Attention Seeking Behavior

Credit: Mashable.com

Credit: Mashable.com

I guess selfies could be put in this category, too. But I think it’s far worse to fish for a compliment, or brag about the 72 compliments you got on your hair, even though “you look terrible today!” on a status update. Spare me.

6. The Joint Facebook Account

Credit: Mashable.com

Credit: Mashable.com

There is rarely a reason for a conjoined Facebook. The reason they only ask for ONE first and last name, is because it’s meant to be for ONE person. I can’t decide what’s worse: posting about your trust issues in your relationship via status update, or confirming for all by creating a Facebook page for the both of you. Gag.

 

 

These are just a few Facebook crimes, and trust me there’s many more. All I ask, is the next time you’re sharing with the world “what’s on your mind,” please remember to use your brain before you hit “post.” We’re all able to see inside your “yellow window” and we’re all silently judging.

*** As much as I wanted to take photos straight from my own news feed, I refrained so that I don’t get flooded with hate mail… If you were offended by this post, you might be committing one or all of these crimes, and I’m sorry? if I hurt your feelings. These images were taken from OTHER sites to ensure that I don’t completely isolate myself, in hopes that we can continue being “Facebook friends.”

About Keven

My name is Keven. Yes, Keven. Like the boy's name... For those that know me, you know I'm opinionated, outspoken, and one of a kind. I'm here to share my opinions, the lessons I've learned and things that are on my mind. This is an unflitered account of what I'm up to. I'm not here to hurt anyone's feelings, or gain anyone's approval. I'm here to write. If you don't like it, leave. If you do, click subscribe and stay awhile.